a curious blend of self loathing and self absorption... a balancing act between low self esteem and narcissism... i cannot shake the feeling that i'll always either be too much or not enough. too much to handle, but never enough to satisfy. a devil with angels eyes. if i am anything, it is violence.

i cannot control my lust - if my heart beats any louder, i might lose it... because i want to die for love. i always have. i reject an abysmal reality and choose to invent my own and i manifest it. i refuse to live in the ordinary world. to enter ordinary relationships. i want ecstasy. i am a neurotic. i, too, have a striking fascination with the irrational, the demonic and the grotesque. i want to burn, even if i break myself. i want to live only for ecstasy.

i'm wasting my days as i've wasted my nights, as i've wasted my youth.

i try to kill myself in small amounts. an innocuous occupation.

unstable, empty, impulsive, sensitive

Yes I am fetishizing men

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N a m e : blue

A g e : 23 {July '97}

L o c a t i o n: ▓█▒▓

G e n d e r : angel

S t a t u s : enraptured w/ soulmate

U p d a t e d : 11.2020